Let’s Be a Full Team: From Opposite Sides to Shared Support

Welcome back to the Koi Wellness blog, your trusted resource for child development and cross-cultural parenting support. I’m Aya Porté, a pediatric occupational therapist who believes that collaboration—between parents, teachers, and therapists—isn’t just helpful, it’s essential.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it really means to work as a team. Not the version where everyone stays in their own lane, but the kind where we bring our strengths together to fill in one another’s gaps.

For many of us—parents, teachers, therapists alike—it can feel like we have to pick a side. But true progress happens when we’re on the same team, working toward the same goal: supporting the child in front of us.

The Team Mindset: Strengths Over Sides

In sports, no one player carries the whole game. Each person brings something different—a strategy, a skill, an energy that complements the others. When we apply that same thinking to our children’s care, it changes everything.

The teacher might see how a student interacts in a busy classroom.
The parent knows what helps their child feel safe at home.
The occupational therapist understands what the child’s sensory or motor system needs.

Individually, we can only see part of the field. But together, we create the full picture.

This teamwork mindset is especially important when tensions rise—when a parent feels unheard, when a teacher feels overwhelmed, or when a therapist feels rushed to meet goals. The truth is, everyone wants the same thing: for the child to thrive. We just need to stay on the same side long enough to remember that.

The “Prison Warden” Story: When Good Intentions Clash

A few years ago, I met a family that reminded me how easily teamwork can break down.

A father came into sessions feeling defeated. His son was struggling with transitions at school—refusing to join activities, melting down when asked to clean up, sometimes even shutting down completely. The teachers were exhausted. The father tried everything at home, from rewards to firm rules, but nothing seemed to work.

When we talked, he said something that stuck with me:

“I feel like the prison warden in my own home.”

He wasn’t angry at his son. He was on his son’s side, trying to help him succeed. But the more he tried to enforce structure, the more disconnected they both felt.

At first, I approached our sessions with my usual agenda—tasks, goals, timelines. I wanted to help his son meet developmental milestones. But I realized that what the child needed most wasn’t more structure; it was more connection.

The father didn’t need to abandon boundaries—he needed support to step into partnership. Once we slowed down, aligned expectations, and reframed the goal, progress followed naturally.

That moment reminded me: being on the same team isn’t about whose method “wins.” It’s about pausing the agenda long enough to meet the child where they are—even if that means sitting together on the blank page before the plan begins. You can read more about this story here.

When Agendas Get in the Way

As therapists, we love structure. Goals, checklists, plans—they keep us accountable. But sometimes, our schedules can become the very thing that disconnects us from what’s happening in the moment.

When a session is going “off-script,” it can be tempting to push through the plan. But children often show us exactly what they need when things don’t go according to plan.

If a child resists a fine motor task, maybe they’re seeking regulation first.
If a parent interrupts to share a hard day, maybe that’s where the real work begins.
If a teacher changes an activity mid-lesson, maybe they’re adapting out of instinct, not defiance.

Being a full team means honoring those moments and trusting that flexibility builds resilience—not failure.

How to Build the “Same Side” Team

Here are a few ways I’ve seen families, teachers, and therapists successfully stay aligned:

1. Start with shared language.
   Before setting goals, clarify what words like “independence,” “success,” or “attention” mean for each person. Alignment starts with understanding.

2. Communicate beyond the child’s behavior.
   Discuss what each person observes—sensory cues, stress signs, or environmental triggers—not just the actions on the surface.

3. Pause before problem-solving.
   When frustration builds, take a step back. Ask, “What does this child need right now?” before jumping into solutions.

4. Celebrate small wins—together.
   When one person sees progress (even tiny progress), share it. Team morale is built on noticing growth.

The Blank Page Before the Plan

Sometimes the best thing we can do as caregivers and professionals is to stop trying to fill every moment with productivity. The blank pages—the pauses, the waiting, the listening—often hold the most meaningful breakthroughs.

It’s not always easy. It’s vulnerable to admit we don’t have all the answers or that our “plan” might need to change. But those are the moments where true teamwork begins.

Because when we drop the idea of sides, we make room for trust.
When we drop the idea of perfection, we make room for connection.
And when we show up as a team, every child gains the support they need to grow with confidence and ease.

Closing Thoughts

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or therapist, remember: you’re not working against each other—you’re working with each other, for the same child.

✭ Let’s trade in the prison warden’s keys for open hands. Read more about this story here.
✭ Let’s play on the same side of the field.
✭ Let’s be a full team—one that leads with patience, empathy, and shared purpose.

If you’d like to learn more about collaborative, cross-cultural OT support for your family or school, I’d love to connect. You can reach me through a Parent Consultation or find me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook.

Together, we can help children grow stronger—because they’ll know that everyone around them is cheering for the same team.