Helping Kids Develop Self-Advocacy Skills in School
Welcome back to the Koi Wellness blog! I’m Aya Porté, a pediatric occupational therapist supporting cross-cultural families and schools as we create environments where children feel seen, heard, and empowered to succeed.
One of the most valuable life skills we can teach our kids doesn’t come from a textbook or test—it’s the ability to speak up for themselves.
Self-advocacy is a cornerstone of independence, confidence, and emotional regulation. I’ve covered this topic at home, but it’s just as important at school. In school, self-advocacy can be the difference between a child silently struggling and a child who gets the support they need to thrive.
What Is Self-Advocacy—Really?
At its core, self-advocacy means that a child can:
Recognize when something isn’t working for them
Understand what they need to feel supported
Communicate that need appropriately
In a school setting, this might sound like:
“I need to sit somewhere quieter to focus.”
“Can I take a break before I finish this assignment?”
“I didn’t understand the directions—can you explain them again?”
These aren’t just “nice-to-haves”—they are powerful tools for navigating sensory challenges, executive functioning difficulties, learning differences, and social stress.
Why It’s So Important—Especially for Cross-Cultural and Neurodivergent Kids
Many of the children I work with are navigating layered experiences:
Cultural expectations that discourage speaking up
Sensory sensitivities or processing differences that make classroom learning overwhelming
Learning struggles that aren’t immediately obvious
In these cases, kids may internalize discomfort, disengage, or act out—not because they don’t care, but because they don’t know how to ask for help in a way that feels safe and effective.
Teaching self-advocacy is one of the most empowering things we can offer them.
How to Support Self-Advocacy at School
1. Start with Self-Awareness
Kids can’t advocate for their needs unless they can first identify them. Help your child learn to notice:
What environments feel “too much” or “just right”
Which tools or routines help them feel calm or focused
How their body feels when something is working—or not
Use simple reflection questions:
“When do you feel most focused in class?”
“What helps you calm down when things feel too loud?”
2. Practice Scripts and Role-Play
Many kids need practice to find the words. Try role-playing with phrases like:
“Can I use my headphones?”
“I need a short break to calm down.”
“This seat is too distracting—can I move to the back?”
Over time, these scripts can evolve into confident, natural self-expression.
3. Collaborate with Teachers Early and Often
Encourage your child to speak up—but also advocate with them. Reach out to teachers, share sensory or learning profiles, and explore accommodations that support independence. This could include:
Flexible seating options
Scheduled movement breaks
Clear, visual instructions
The goal isn’t to remove challenge—it’s to remove barriers.
4. Celebrate the Wins (Even the Small Ones!)
When your child speaks up in class, even if it’s imperfect—celebrate it. These are moments of growth. Over time, each request becomes a stepping stone toward greater confidence and self-regulation.
Advocacy Is a Skill, Not a Trait
Self-advocacy doesn’t come naturally to all children, and that’s okay. It can be taught, modeled, and nurtured—just like any other skill. And when we do, we give our kids the tools to not only succeed in school, but to trust their voice in every space they enter.
📞 Want support helping your child learn to self-advocate? I offer 1:1 parent consultations to explore strategies you can implement at home and in school.
Schedule a 1:1 consultation and let’s raise strong, supported communicators—together.
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