Is It Sensory or Behavior? Maybe We're Asking the Wrong Question.
Welcome back to the Koi Wellness blog! I’m Aya Porté, an occupational therapist (OT), and this month I’m revisiting a question I’ve asked—and been asked—many times throughout my career:
“Is it sensory or is it behavior?”
With back-to-school season in full swing, this question tends to come up even more. A child may be doing well at school but falling apart at home. Another child may be comfortable and regulated at home but struggle the moment they enter a busy classroom, community event, or social setting.
For years, I wanted an answer too.
Early in my career, I thought that if I could figure out whether something was sensory or behavioral, I could find the right strategy and help the child.
After nearly 13 years as an OT, my thinking has changed.
Today, I think we need to ask a different question:
How are this child’s sensory experiences influencing their behavior?
Moving Beyond the Label
Children are complex. Their behavior doesn't exist separately from their environment, nervous system, relationships, motivations, or everyday experiences.
A child may hold it together beautifully at school and fall apart once they're home. Another child may be comfortable at home but struggle in a busy classroom or community setting.
Instead of immediately deciding “this is sensory” or “this is behavior,” I want us to get curious about why the experience changes.
And that applies to labels like “spoiled” or “difficult” too.
What looks like stubbornness may be a child with very strong preferences and limited flexibility. What looks like “bad behavior” may be happening within a much larger experience that we haven't fully understood yet.
A Better Place to Start
If you're noticing a behavior you don't understand—especially as your child settles back into school—try starting here:
What part of this situation is supporting or interfering with my child's ability to participate?
You may not know the answer right away, and that's okay.
The goal is to move away from trying to determine what the child is doing “wrong” and start looking at what is influencing the situation and what we may be able to change or support.
Listen to the Conversation
In this month's recording, I dig deeper into how my thinking around sensory processing and behavior has changed over the years—including internal motivation, why children may behave differently across environments, parent and child nervous systems, sensory strategies, and why the same tool won't work every time.
If there's one thing I hope you take away, it's this:
You don't always need a better answer. Sometimes, you need a better question.
If you want to learn more about how I can support you and your child, you can schedule a call here and connect with me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook.
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